ADHD Social Skills | Fixing ADHD Social Skills Deficits

Problems With ADHD Social Skills

PROBLEMS WITH BODY LANGUAGE AND SOCIAL CUES

ADD Social Skills Deficits...
One of the hardest things about having ADD ADHD is failure to read other people’s body language correctly.

For example, a normal child will understand when Mom is going to lose her temper. He or she will push only so far and then back off when he perceives by her body language that she’s angry.

An ADD ADHD child does not understand when Mom’s about to blow and will keep acting out.

ADD ADHD people can learn to watch for other people’s cues in therapy.

Some ADD ADHD cases are so severe that the people have to actually memorize other people’s body language:

...such as snarling mouth means ANGRY

...raised eyebrows means I’M PUZZLED BY YOU

...tensed body means YOU’RE GETTING ON MY NERVES, and so forth.

The other side of this problem is that ADD ADHD people often have weird or unusual body language themselves. They are usually not aware of this problem unless their friends, parents or therapists work with them.

For example, they get bored or distracted when other people are talking so they interrupt (which is perceived as being rude) or they stare out into space (also rude) or yawn and so forth.

ADD social situations...

The other person thinks the ADD ADHD person is not interested in their ideas. Sometimes ADHD people, again being distracted, do not make eye contact. Other people think they are “shifty-eyed” or dishonest and untrustworthy.

One trick to use is to summarize in your mind what the other person is saying to you before you speak. Try to talk less and listen more.

ADD Social Situations...

A good therapist will actually videotape an ADD ADHD client as he or she talks and interacts with other people. When you watch yourself on video, you can see how you appear to others.

ADD ADHD clients can learn to control their body language so it is more socially acceptable. If you cannot afford a therapist to help you with social cues, then ask a friend or co-worker to be honest about... “how you’re coming off” to other people.

Often the words you’ll hear are “You’re so intense! Lighten up!” or “You’re too talkative and you interrupt!” Sometimes just becoming aware of the problem is step one in solving it.